终于还是去配了副眼镜，一直以为朦胧是种美，透过那200的镜子时，看到的是无比清澈可人的世界，一切的一切，无须再自欺欺人，于是，可以看到花朵的开放，孩童的微笑，觉得以前的自己是多么的愚蠢，错过了那么多那么多

透过窗，看到的是一轮半月和学校的logo,顶在那边楼的上面　同时在看的是under the Tuscan sun，这是W推荐的一部片子，相当不错　看年头，是03的，那年刚好毕业　呵呵　和W聊天，她很诧异，怎么那么多那么美的地儿TG都没有去过，告诉她说，要留给两个人，丢脸的是，这么多年过去，一直没有办法凑齐两个人，呵呵　于是想，也许，一个人就一个人吧，总不能把所有的都浪费在等上　如果等不到，岂不是一个人永远都无法看那些美景了　W特喜欢达衣岩的衣服，那些穿在TG身上就不太象话，墨绿色，喜欢，姜黄色，有点过了也许是太过考虑身份和可用率了　呵呵　毕竟，人不可能拗得过时间的，忽然，无比地向往意大利　

这两天的B城忽然就凉了，尽管前两天还热的很，从路上飘零的叶子也看出秋是真的到了其实，夏天衣服早在一个月前就已开始打折了，信号之一吧　一直无法集中精力，于是除了8网还是8网　本来打算去相亲大会的，终于还是提前下车，在梅园店弄了个双皮，边吃边走在满是槐树的街，终又体验到另一种B城的味道　回的路上，进了一家川店，灭了瓶青啤 途经一小店时，抵不过香味的诱惑，买了好多的奶油卷和泡芙，无法拒绝样的，一气灭掉，明知道自己已经没有腰了

师妹送的薰衣草精油，装在一个相当古朴的盒子里面，即便是没有开盖，但依然嗅得到，淡淡地，很安神，忽然就想到自己曾经的梦，sigh 该努力的还是要努力　　

听M讲起铭，这家伙，已经有一岁零2个月了，依然是不会讲话，只能无意识地发出“Mama”的声音，很令人着急问起TG在做什么，回说刚开了个学术会，没开学还不知道做什么只是网上8啊8的,于是劝说TG养什么都不如养孩子，更让人充实，我 这是单方面能决定的事儿嘛看杂志在八卦什么干细胞可以造出精子，男人无用之类，不过，离具体可行，好像还有段日子　

开会，偌大的厅，满满当当，从八十多的江湖老大到十多岁的未来之星，全跑来凑这后奥运的热闹忽然，无缘由地想：若房子坍塌或什么恐怖袭击，额们那历经了近百年的小小夕阳专业岂不是全军覆灭，so what　

投文在简单修改后被接收了，明显是referee放水，啥叫朋友多了路好走来着

合作者第一次来京，于是，用一下午陪观鸟巢水煮蛋大裤衩等新建筑，看得那家伙一个劲儿地wow　这一路奔下来，额左腿狂抽筋，不知是天热还是自己短路，最后一个单词也蹦不出了，TNND　到底是年纪大了，补钙补钙以后该找学生来干这等体力活　

状态不是很对，厌倦到极点，接下来的一个暑期学校，说要点卯，管他哩，等做报告时再现身好了，没人在乎　呵呵　不管别人怎么样，自己知道自己怎么回事就好了

有些事情因托太久，已经没了意义，b4自己，还是想知道为何会这样，有言曰：
“很多冲突并不容易解决，涉及客观现实，涉及我们长久已来根深蒂固的信念，面对起来会产生巨大的焦虑。于是我们只好无意识地采取拖延来逃避面对。所以，拖延本质上是一种保护自己暂时免于内心冲突和焦虑的手段。焦虑有时会来自任务本身，比如一个讨厌收拾的人面对一个杂乱的屋子；但更多时候，焦虑来自事物背后潜藏着的，我们对自己、对事物的不合理信念”讲白了，就是没胆看到庄子·天地里有“且夫失性有五：一曰五色乱目，使目不明；二曰五色乱耳，使耳不聪;三曰五臭熏鼻，困惾中颡；四曰五味浊口，使口厉爽；五曰趣舍滑心，使性飞扬。此五者皆生之害也”，其实自己的状态就是取舍滑心，性飞扬 嗯，要修身养性　　　　

五色 赤 青 黄 白 黑
五音 徵 角 宫 商 羽
五味 苦 酸 甘 辛 咸
五脏 心 肝 脾 肺 肾

看到各族的称呼，对号入座，属于“穷忙族”，即有3项或3项以上与“穷忙菜单”相符：1.一周工作超过54小时，但看不到前途；2.一年内未曾加薪；3.三年内未曾升职；4.薪水很低，到月底总是很艰难；5.积蓄少，无力置产；6.工资不低，但花钱很大手笔；7.收入不低，但内心没有安全感；8.忙得团团转，一停下来就有罪恶感；9.白天工作，晚上回到家还得工作；10.老是计划干一番事业，但总是忙不完手里的事情。

google里有子曰一项，不错的功能，记下的有：
8.14 子曰：“知者乐水，仁者乐山；知者动，仁者静；知者乐，仁者寿。”
8.15 子曰：“士志于道，而耻恶衣恶食者，未足与议也。”
     子曰：“视其所以，观其所由，察其所安，人焉廋哉？人焉廋哉？”   为政第二
8.16  子曰：“吾与回言终日，不违如愚。退而省其私，亦足以发。回也，不愚。”为政第二
      子曰：“其身正，不令而行；其身不正，虽令不从。”    子路第十三
8.18 子曰：“不曰‘如之何如之何’者，吾末如之何也已矣！” 卫灵公第十五
8.20 子曰：“温故而知新，可以为师矣。” 为政第二
     子曰：“道听而涂说，德之弃也。”阳货第十七
     子曰：“人而无信，不知其可也。大车无輗，小车无軏，其何以行之哉？”为政第二
8.22 子曰：“温故而知新，可以为师矣。” 为政第二
8.23 孔子曰：“君子有九思：视思明，听思聪，色思温，貌思恭，言思忠，事思敬，疑思问，忿思难，见得思义。”  季氏第十六

该躲的躲不过，终于还是被知道了，很感激的是居然和Cashmere Mafia里Mia她老妈说的话一样　这个七夕应该和前几年的一模一样，只是平常日子而已　　

去F家玩，她换了座骑，高大的XC60，看起来那叫一个漂亮，呵呵心动了，嗯　要好好挣钱　

处暑，终于还是感冒了，鼻涕狂流，攥着tissue，看对面的W不停挣扎于她的各种选择中，活脱脱几年前的自己也许，这次过后，她不会再那么轻易地辞职 据说，处理心理压力的方法有：与朋友聊天，写日记，健身，听音乐，看演出，上网灌水，旅行，在没有人的地方大喊大叫… 希望blabla后，她的压力能小点

“我该选读什么专业？” 徐小平--原文发表于《新东方英语》九月号

一，特定专业并不重要

一年一度的高考结束后，那些考上大学的学生和家长总会来问我：“我该选读什么专业？”

我的答案总是这样：“除了你对某种专业有特别兴趣、特别渊源——比如季羡林先生点名招收了钱文忠学梵文巴利文专业——除此之外，大学选择什么专业并不重要……”

“专业不重要？那什么重要！”

我能看到读者脸上质疑的皱纹，于是我说：“重要的是专业之外的那些能力，将最终决定你的前途。”

每个大学生都会有一个“专业”，专业于我们当然是很重要的。但到底是专业决定我们的生存状态，生活质量，生命价值，还是其他东西？答案是后者——是专业之外的能力。

瞧！在任何专业里，都有成功者，也都有失败者。专业并不决定你的成功失败。千万不要以为进了某种专业就进了成功保险柜——反过来，更不要把自己职业的不如意归咎于平白无辜的“专业”。专业能给你一张登临人生大舞台的演出许可证，但要得到万众欢腾的演出效果，你还要运用专业之外的一些东西。

“专业之外的一些东西”，是哪些东西呢？这里，请允许我借用教育家杨东平先生的一次发言，来概括这些能力：企业最重视的，第一是大学生的价值观，第二是大学生的综合素质，第三才是所谓的专业技能。

　       所谓价值观，就是你对于工作与生活的态度，就是我们一般意义上的品德，品格。你是否热爱生活、热爱他人？你是否诚信、是否敬业？你是否尊重和关心你的同事和客户，你是否拥有社会责任感和慈善意识……？企业、以及社会，是根据你的价值观来判断你这个人可用不可用，可大用还是不可大用。

　       所谓综合素质，就是综合素质，这是不言自明的东西——不过，如果要把综合素质具体化，它最主要包括：表达能力，沟通能力，说话能力，文章能力，组织协调的能力，承受压力的能力，以及，在今天瞬息万变的职场上，调整心态、适应变化的能力。在未来几十年内，人类正经历着前所未有的全球化适应期。全球化迅猛改变着既有的生活节奏和规律。适应变化的能力，对于大学生来说，也许是这个时代最重要的“那些能力”之一。

二，职业需求与专业

 从职业对人才需求的关系角度，大量工作是不需要特定专业背景的——比如吸纳就业人数极多的营销类、管理类、助理类、媒体类、教育培训类、金融类、甚至公务员领域，这些领域对于人才的要求和挑战，主要是价值观和综合素质，而不是特定相关专业。搞营销最好的，未必是学营销的；做媒体最出色的，也不必是中国传媒大学的毕业生。教育培训，更是三百六十行的专业学生，都能在这里找到人生的黄金，奋斗的出路。ＭＢＡ教育，就是一个专业大熔炉，它把所有专业人才熔铸在一个通才教育的模式里，通过训练你的思维方式和综合能力，使得你毕业后能够从事几乎所有领域的管理工作。

 三，职业发展与专业

 从职业发展的角度，同一专业的竞争者，除了那些极其个人化、几乎不需要与他人合作的领域之外（比如数学与文学写作），最终发展最好、位置最高、成就最大者，往往也是那些价值观正确、综合素质指标高的人士。即使在Google、微软这样的技术公司，在初创阶段靠的是技术开发，但要做强做大，往往靠的是综合领导能力。苹果的创新先知乔布斯，根本就不是学技术出身。他靠什么成功？创新能力和想象力。而创新力和想象力，不属于任何一门专业，是经典的综合素质能力。

四，美国本科专业与研究生专业的关系分析

大学毕业，你其实还有一次机会通过继续深造来改变自己的专业，即考研。

问题是，中国的研究生教育制度，没有美国研究生教育阶段通行的“职业学院体系”，即professional school系统。Professional school，指的是医学院、法学院、管理学院、政府管理学院、新闻学院、教育学院等，这些学院在招收本科毕业生入学时，基本不看对应专业——因为美国根本就没有医学、法学本科这样的东东。

 美国职业学院系统的存在，给本科生前途带来了无限宽广的自由和多样的选择，也给本科生专业焦虑带来了彻底的缓解——男女都怕入错行，谁能确保自己18岁的选择不会让自己后悔终生？但22岁大学毕业时，你已经拥有了相对更加坚实的人生观和价值观，选择专业就比较明确。所以，在这种教育体制下，大学期间，无论你学什么专业，你只要做一个“全面发展”的好学生，毕业时，你既可以考入与你的本科专业直接接轨的研究生院graduate school深造，更可以以综合高分“改行”进入你心仪的“职业学院”接受“职业培训”，追求美好生活。

 中国还没有这样的教育制度，但这并不等于“本科专业不重要”的规律就不奏效。失效的是中国的研究生教育制度，有效的还是我刚才阐述的有关本科专业的观点。清华大学校长前不久呼吁中国取消法律本科教育，意味着中国迟早会在法律及很多领域，采纳这种通行世界的专业人士职业教育体制。

 五， 风起云涌的教育培训，是最适合用来说明上述观点的领域。

 教育培训是改革开放以来，从无到有迅速崛起的一个重要职业分支。在这个领域，只要你有一定的学历，无论你是学考古，还是学通古斯语，还是学通讯的，只要你愿意，经过简单的关注和基本的培训，你都可以在找到一份报酬不错的工作——当然，前提是你拥有一定的“综合素质”，至少要“能说会道”！做家教，做幼教、做中教、做成教，教数学、教作文、教英语、教ＸＹＺ……无论你学什么专业，在教育培训行当里，只要你会说，你就会教！

 但如同任何领域一样，教育培训职业发展问题不在于如何入门，而在于提升。教书教到一定程度，天天重复讲述你讲过无数次的教案，你会厌烦自己，憎恨自己，甚至还会仇恨人类。你需要发展，需要提升，需要不讲课也能挣钱，需要不见学生也能影响学生——担任教育培需领域的管理者。在管理者这个层面上，你的“价值观”将决定你的“市值”，你的综合素质，将决定你的生活素质。企业选拔管理者，越往上，越会看重并倚重你的品格和综合素质。无论是民营还是国营，不管是官场还是商场，上司决不会把一个重要位置交给一个他“信不过”的人。

 杰克韦尔奇说：他在选拔ＧＥ领导者时，并不只看他业绩如何，才能怎样，而是看他是否认同ＧＥ的企业文化，ＧＥ的价值观。瞧，世界顶级雇主的用人观念，说明了价值观和综合素质的重要性，指明了你奋斗和努力的方向。

最后再讲几句教育硕士问题。新东方有不少青年教师，工作几年后，积累了财富和人脉，去美国哈佛、斯坦福、哥伦比亚的教育学院读个教育硕士，完成常春藤之梦。他们之中，什么专业都有，好像就是没有本科读“教育专业”的人！

 六，专业的重要性

 讲到现在专业的不重要性，也许我应该讲讲专业的重要性。其实，专业的重要性恰恰在于大学生对自己专业明确的选择informed and enlightened selection。如果你对自己选择什么专业都不知道、对所选的专业并无特定认知，专业对你还重要吗？

 所以，我还是想说，除非你对某个专业有特殊的兴趣和渊源，否则，无论你学数理化、还是文史哲、农工商、法政医……真的不重要。而重要的是你在漫长的人生道路上，能否应对行业的发展，拥抱职业的变化，走在“专业”或你所选“职业”的前沿。那种以为“选对了专业就选定了前途”的想法，是一个世纪前的陈旧的观点！

 七，大学四年学什么？

 老师的天职就是重复讲述，那就让我在这里再次重复一下我的观点：

 １，              不管你读什么专业，都要从一开始追求伟大理想，这个伟大理想是：以你学到的东西为武器，影响社会、改变世界、造福人类——人类很多，但这里引用佛教语言来表达一下：“出家人走路恐伤蚁命”，佛家关爱生命，从蚂蚁开始。青年造福人类，从具体个人开始。当代青年的伟大理想应该是：要因你的存在使得“他人”活得更好——你就会活得比“他人”更好！结果大家都活得更好，结果“世界大同”！这是我希望同学们追求的伟大理想！

２，              不管你读什么专业，都要从一开始就建立明确的职业意识，明确的职业意识是：要问自己，本专业直接的工作是什么，本专业间接的工作是什么？本专业相关工作是什么？极而言之，任何专业的相关工作，都包括三百六十行。学工程的可以做国家主席，学音乐的可以做新东方副主席。这个时代，没有什么不可能——但你必须告诉自己，你要做什么，而不仅仅只是知道自己在学什么！

３，              不管你读什么专业，都要从一开始就要学会写作、说话、沟通、表达、演说、辩论——或者一言蔽之，要学会操弄语言文字。孔子说：劳心者治人，劳力者治于人。我想说：善辨者治人，不擅辩者治于人。这里需要声明一下：能言善辩，会说会写的人，往往都是脚踏实地、埋头苦干的人。那种认为埋头苦干而不需要表达沟通能力的观点，是陈腐而有害过时的价值观。孔子提倡“慎于言而敏于行”少说话多做事，而他老人家流传千古，恰恰是靠的“论”和“语”。

４，              不管你读什么专业，都要从一开始就积极参与课外活动，extra curriculum activities.课外活动包括：体育、文艺、社团、实习……而这些课外活动，他们对一个人成长的价值，绝不小于任何一门课获得满分。把课外活动和课堂学习对立起来，是中国教育的另外一大害人不浅的误区。简单说，课外活动，展现的是你的价值观，锻炼的就是你的综合素质，丰富的是你的人生。

５，              不管你读什么专业，都要从心灵深处意识到，大学是谈恋爱的最佳时期。大学期间刻意远离异性、拒绝爱情的人，往往是未来人生不幸福的人。爱情是人类最高价值。此刻不追，更待何时？！

６，              不管你读什么专业，都要带着危机感意识到，环球化已经来到我们身边，环球人才竞争已经进入你的钱袋，你差点到手的一份高薪好工作，很可能被你家隔壁留学归来的小二抢走——而个人应对环球化竞争有两大手段：外语与留学。在国内读大学的同学，学好以英语为主要外语，是确保自己不被外来人才击败的重要手段。

 八，价值观是人生大厦的基础

 最后，我要把价值观单独拿出来说一说，以突出我的观点——价值观，是人生大厦的基础。

 大学四年，是我们形成人生观和价值观的关键时刻，注意培养自己的道德情操、人品人格，否则，上述几点你做得再好，也未必能成就什么。

 有一次，我和俞敏洪老师在一起，谈到一位才华横溢的青年人。大家都承认这个家伙很有才华，“专业上很厉害”，但总觉得他“人品有点问题”，也就是说，他不具备一个受过教育的人应有的价值观。我有点故作真诚地问老俞：这家伙人品是有问题，但他确实很有才华啊！为什么不能重用之？

 俞老师说：一个人如果很有才华，但人品不好，他对集体或社会造成的伤害会更大。而一个人如果品德好而才华低，他至少可以在自己的岗位上兢兢业业做个好员工，过一分普通而美好的日子。而人品不好而才华高的人，如果得到机会，他一定会严重伤害整个团队，甚至伤害社会。

这样的“能人”，从三鹿奶粉到中国首富，你都已经见到。但你可能认为这与你无关。那我引用李开复老师经常讲的一个故事来说明问题：李开复在为G招募人才时，看到那些说前任雇主坏话的人，能力再强，也不会考虑他们，因为他们的character出了问题——谷歌的午餐不仅免费，而且食物之丰富天下无敌，居然有无限量供应的鹅肝酱！可惜，那些不懂得“尊重”之价值的求职者，必将无缘那些幸福的鹅肝酱

　　台湾有名广告词：认真的女人最美丽。每个人都有选择自己生活方式的权利，但一定要认真，对自己，对工作，对生活，这样的女人就算不是天生丽质，也有一种自信从容的美，只有这样一种美才能和时间对抗，也才是好男人欣赏的类型。玩弄生活玩弄男人的人最终也会被玩弄。可能很多姐妹不是工作上很出色的人，能把自己收拾得干净清爽，也是一个很大的优点。不管怎么说，现实中的男人还是首先容易以貌取人的，不是所有的男人都只爱最美的女人，对于干净清爽的女人，大多数男人还有有好感的。

　　凡是自己对工作得过且过，却对自己的女友有诸多要求的男人，还是敬而远之比较好。这样的男人，婚后变得毒舌男的机率最高。我们姐妹嫁人，最少要求的是被自己的丈夫尊重，认为自己有权利对妻子呼来喝去的男人不是好的结婚对象。

    3.嫁人最主要看人品，性格

　　相似的性格，相似的人生观、金钱观是婚姻生活最好的保障。个性不同，两个人平日里都说不来，就算是全世界都公认是金童玉女，天生一对，也是不能嫁的，毕竟你的一生中大多数时间是要与他共度的，冷暖自知。

    4.一开始就说配不上你的男人，以后他永远都会配不上你

　　对一些出色的女生来说，总会遇上一些看似潜力股的男人，你为他改变自己，付出全部，他却说，你对他太好了，他的(学历，金钱，能力，地位，相貌等等)配不上你。我身边好多姐妹们的例子证明，没有自信，只能靠你屈就才能交往的男人，以后对你不会好的，你的出色只会让他更自卑。

    5.托付终身前，要看一看他的家人

　　不是看他家有多少钱，是看他家家人是不是家庭和睦，关心礼让。一个家人中有男人打女人，大家还不闻不问，装作没看见的家庭，以后也不会管你的死活的。每个家庭都有缺点，要问清自己男友的态度，一味愚忠的男人，心里对妻子的尊重是有限的。

    6.对自己手紧，对女友也手紧的男人没有情趣。对自己手松，对女友手紧的男人一定自私，是最不能嫁的

　　金钱是最能看出一个男人本质和感情的东西。姐妹们谈恋爱不是谈钱，但如果他在钱上让你感觉不对，就该好好想想他是不是合适你了。在谈恋爱的时候，正常的消费是应该的，见面开始就说清要AA的男人太精于算计，也太怕吃亏了。在未来的婚姻中，有许多需要人牺牲的地方，这样的男人会最先跑掉。

   7.打人的男人不能要，被打一次一定要分手。花心的，脚踩几条船的男人不能要，发现一次一定要分手。老话说了，当断不断，反受其乱

    8.恋爱中女生要有自己的底线

　　决不能因为爱他，就放弃自己的尊严，侮辱自己的父母，抛弃自己的工作。好的感情，婚姻一定是双赢，而不是单方面的牺牲和成全。

愈懒就愈懒，如身陷泥潭样的 一次次地说去做，终于还只是想想罢了，看日子一天天地跑掉，若C城的Y知道TG这样来处理事情，估计他也要头大罢  

过去的就过去了，自己应该放得下才对，毕竟，是主动放弃方嘴角，居然起了一串的泡，随后是暴饮暴食到没腰，韩剧加冰淇淋，谁的创意来着 真是要恭喜下，TG这样没有一点成色的家伙 摆个U rock的手势，继续上路看风景咯

依然是欣赏不了交响，汗啊 只有选了几个9月和10月的话剧，票，一张，更是汗

在H城的W辞去了工作，回到B城来，暂时落脚在TG的小窝想起前段时间借住的J，不知是这个世界有点疯还是她们自己的问题 在路该怎么样走都不知道的情况下，如中毒样地去追逐自己所谓的太阳 可能，是自己实在太老了，静若死水

偶遇一N久不联系的朋友，知她刚生了个宝宝，6个月了，胖嘟嘟地超可爱 羡慕ing 兼带被一通说教，无非是要TG注意年岁不饶人及江河日下的卖方市场之类 呵呵 现在对TG这样说话的人还真是不多哩，感激ing  

 嘴角的疱终于消掉了，躲了一周，丢掉了一个面试机会，do not cry over spilled milk, 自找的　　

谷歌添加小工具有孔子曰，很不错，静心长识，“君子有三畏：畏天命，畏大人，畏圣人之言。小人不知天命而不畏也，狎大人，侮圣人之言”

立秋前后，大雨狂下，对B城而言，倒是少见，想起故都的秋里“下得有味，下得更象样”的雨，不觉莞尔迄今，还未见秋的味道，想起“陶然亭的芦花，钓鱼台的柳影，西山的虫唱，玉泉的夜月，潭柘寺的钟声。在北平即使不出门去罢，就是在皇城人海之中，租人家一椽破屋来住着，早晨起来，泡一碗浓茶、向院子一坐，你也能看得到很高很高的碧绿的天色，听得到青天下驯鸽的飞声”，向往ing

ISIV的图表暂告一段落，出去闲逛，抱着袋面包，走在如瓢泼的大雨中，无比开心；看大女三十，乐一个；重温老友记，上帝发疯，狂乐

小师妹N回来开会，带了薰衣草给TG，说是一个和蔼老太太自己生产的，感谢ing 被N的快乐而渲染，感觉天好高好蓝，好久没有这样了

啤酒的哲学

哲学教授站在讲台上，取出一个约３升的空玻璃罐，往里面塞满了直径约５厘米的石块儿，然后他问学生们：

　　“罐子满了么？”

　　“满了。”学生们回答道。

　　于是教授又取出一小袋绿豆把它们倒进玻璃罐，轻轻摇了摇。当然，绿豆占满了石块儿间的空隙。教授又问道：“罐子满了么？”

　　学生们都笑了，回答道：“满了。”

　　接着教授又从桌子里取出一个装满沙子的盒子，把沙子倒进玻璃罐，沙子完全填满了空隙。他再次问学生们：“罐子满了么？”

　　“是的，这次满了！”学生们都喊道。

　　教授微笑着又取出两罐啤酒倒进玻璃罐里，沙子吸收了全部的啤酒直到最后一滴。学生们看到这里全都笑了起来。

　　“现在，我想让你们明白的是：玻璃罐代表你们的一生，石块儿代表你们生命中最重要的东西：家庭，健康，朋友，孩子。他们能使你的生活变得充实而美好，尽管其他的东西失去了，可他们会陪伴你一生。”教授接着说道，“而绿豆代表你的工作、房子、汽车，沙子代表其他的一些小事。如果一开始用沙子填满了玻璃罐，那就没有绿豆和石块儿的地方。同样，在你的生活中如果一些小事花掉了你所有的时间和精力，那你就无暇顾及最重要的东西。你应该经常做一些带给你幸福的事：和孩子们玩耍，抽出时间给你的伴侣，和朋友们聚会。还要经常找时间干干活，收拾房间，修理和擦洗汽车。”

　　教授准备收拾东西下课了，一个学生举手问：“那啤酒代表什么？”

　　教授微笑着说：“我很高兴你能问我这个问题。我这样做只是想向你们证明：无论你的生活多么紧张，你总能找到喝啤酒的时间。”

整理一番后，分别提交了QNJS和LSQ的表格，有关明年的计划，不管最后结局如何，就当是玩吧

历聚会样的相亲，被人说：怎么看起来还象个学生？汗死！有时间泡书店看点为人处事和人情世故的书，应该会比较好些 毕竟，不同的年龄要有和其相称的心态和举止 

说Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted，但怎么样才是对的人 终于还是摊牌了，这样可有可无间淡到几乎没有的还是化为无为好，结果被人言决定太过幼稚，不是文化人该做的事，也不是这个年龄该做的事不知怎么不小心就成了人家嘴里的文化人，晕 记得有文说冰心问三十多岁的铁凝“姑娘，成家了没有？” “没有”“嗯，不要找，要等。” 守株待兔，那该要怎样好的心态啊 

抄点人家的：“抉择之所以艰难，是因为你只知道失去了什么，但你根本不知道自己会得到什么” 所以聪明的女人懂得，人生不是“获得”了什么，而是你“舍得”了哪些 “最可怕的事情不是选择，而是你一直都在选择”“带点崇拜看男人，才会对婚姻更死心塌地”

说是500年一遇的日食，赶上桑拿天，TG一觉到近11点，什么也没看到 下午看网，感受了番老罗的奋斗史 他的课， TG是上过的，可惜，从来没想过要学他那一流的侃功，失误啊 要学会笑面人生，善败者不亡 傍晚在大雨如注的情况下去吃饭，然后跑去奥体散步，还没有建完，漂亮，大而开阔，估计白天会很晒，呵呵 晚上终于完成了无对力时的滴线图，与以前的几乎没有什么区别，很奇怪的结果

都说黄山归来不看岳，挂不住对小五的思念，终还是去了，鬼使神差样地从中台走入云端里，竟然看到了大片大片的金莲花在这个时间段，真是上天赐福啊虽错了路，不悔 同行结识了几位不错的驴友，被夸比较有韵律有节奏，人很雅致，呵呵 第一次听人这样讲TG，偷乐一个

2个半月的假期，先是拿了半个月去开会，又拿了近半个月给家人，接下来的这半个月有点脑残，一个人坐办公室里，在网上8啊8的，工作日历上留下的是一个又一个空白 晕啊，UC的Fre应快到B城了，TG却还没准备好资料，不知会拿出怎么样的状态和他谈topic，很对不起从3月份开始就忙前忙后的Y

看网上关于日全食直播的解说，教授回答时那种淡定从容的气场，很熟悉 呵呵 

1 某个观测点因为有云，看不到日全食。
男主持：“现在有云看不到日食，等下太阳完全被遮住的时候，应该可以看到星星吧？”
教授：“看不到。”
男主持：“可以看到吧，到时候天会完全暗下来。”
教授：“…..厄…如果日食都看不到的话，星星也不可能看到的。”（教授估计也崩溃了）

2 主持人假装鸡冻的说：江教授，你看日食感动吗？
江教授说：我不感动，看多了就不感动了。等你看多了，也不会感动了。
 
3 女主持问，江教授，月球上的山是怎么形成的，是小行星撞击的吗？
江教授说，月球上的山本来就在那里，也有的是小行星撞击的。 

4 当转到印度的时候，女主持说，在黑暗中有星星，江教授，那是水星吗？我们看得到星星吗？
江教授说，不可能看到星星的。
后来证明不是星星，是渔船。

5 镜头转到重庆，画面突然一片漆黑
主持人：江教授，那么这是不是就是太阳完全被遮住时的样子
江教授：……….我觉得好像是没有信号…..

6 男主持人：教授，给我们说说为什么处于太阳边缘的日冕层的温度会那么高
教授：其实….日冕层的温度不是那么高的
男主持人：但据说要比太阳中心的温度高很多，这是一个很神奇的现象！！
教授：日冕层的温度怎么会比太阳中心高呢，当然还是中心温度高了…..
女主持人听不下去了，赶紧来圆场：让我们看一下画面当中**地的连接画面吧！

7 还有，上海全黑的时候，那个主持问教授，“教授你觉得上海应该开景观灯吗？”
教授平静地说“不该开。浪费钱。”

8 还有说到有人专门去日本在坐游艇在海上观看
主持鸡东地问教授：“在海上看有什么不一样，会更怎么怎么样**&……&”
教授又淡定的说“没有什么不一样”

9 男主持人很激动的说“我国在很早的时候就开始通过坐飞机的方式来做科学研究，江教授，您能跟我们介绍下吗？”
教授说“这个问题你不要问我，那个项目我没有参与过。”

10 男主持人：“有很多追日族天文爱好者，甚至坐飞机从西向东飞来欣赏日食。江教授，我们都知道，在飞机上角度不行，万一看不到怎么办？”
教授云“那你把头仰起来看呗！”

快乐而无所事事的两周很快没了，行路读书，除不时收到的电话和短信提醒自己还未全然脱离开外，算得上是个相当不错的小假期 

看到C市的山洪事件，某些人物装束，去公园玩样的，无语ing 人需要对自然多点敬畏，对生命多点珍重 

一番挣扎后放弃了T州的位置，上面居然又给了个去H的机会，明知是鸡肋，但领导的面子无法直接驳回去，只有哼哈着，不能当面直接拒绝别人是很可恶的毛病，怎么自己就找不出好的理由来说NO哩 猪头！ 最后又要看过了这个鞍点的稳定性了 晕！想起看到的一句话：人生有两大悲剧，一是得不到你想要的，更大的悲剧是得到后发现不是你想要的

听B说他喜欢上一女孩，开始热心地支招，后知女孩是79的，是自己想当然地认为B找的是小女孩 遂告之比较麻烦，毕竟年龄大的人已基本定性，结果吃了一记冷杀眼才明白自己76，比别人更过 呵呵

在S城看到了炫丽的闪电，同期错过了B城的大暴雨 无端想起9几年抓拍闪电的情形和0几年紫竹园划船归来后光脚走在雨中的样子

看着住了近3年的小窝，虽然觉得早出夜归的类学生日子也不错，但毕竟简单的太过分了点，旅馆样的 想起途中住的明亮宽敞房间让人感觉大气舒畅，遂决意换个大而明亮的地儿呆 毕竟自己要爱自己点 回过头去，似乎每次的房子都是楼层里最差的，总也懒得换，就这样几十年，一晃过了，如果自己都不在乎自己，还有谁会在乎

Prepare for millstones

In long-term relationships, we often think of today as an extension of yesterday and tomorrow as an extension of today. We may not particularly notice how time is passing or pause to reflect on our circumstances. Milestone events, however—births, deaths, career change, children leaving home—inspire reflection.

Don’t bring your job home with you

We spend more waking hours on the job than doing anything else. We are taught from a young age to value hard work and that it will be rewarded. We hear far less about the efforts required in our relationships. When the workday is over, the work must recede out of your thoughts and time.

Workaholics, people who never seem to stop working or thinking about work, are three times more likely to say that their personal life is unsatisfying.

We assume similar preferences

It’s difficult, sometimes very difficult, to figure out what other people are thinking and feeling. When, lacking better information, we project our own feelings onto someone else, we wind up offering our preferred response to our own projected feelings. While we assume similarity because it is easier to do so, if we were being realistic we would more carefully consider others; preferences.

Don’t let secrets eat you up

While honesty might be thought of as the best policy, some truths might be too devastating to admit in a relationship. In situations in which you fear that the effects of the truth in your relationship might be devastating, seek a trusted confident with whom you can discuss the truth and relieve your burden.

To find a better way, look where you’ve been

Unless you make an effort to think about what you are doing and why, you are likely to repeat yourself, often to the detriment of your relationship.

Money matters less over time

If you were purchasing a house, you would pay attention to the features that matter most to you. But when we are thinking about potential mates, we pay the most attention to things that matter the least to us in the long run. That is, when we conjure up images of the ideal mater, that person is often pretty wealthy. However, when we actually live our lives, the significance of wealth drops to almost nothing in our evaluation of our relationship. That will give meaning to your life and love, have nothing to do with money.

Recognize the value of shared values

Your core values were formed a long time ago and will likely be yours for the rest of your life. The same is true for the other person in a relationship. Given that neither of you is likely to change your core beliefs, it helps if those beliefs are compatible.

Understand what you are looking for

People have basic ideas about the world and their place in it. These ideas are fundamental to their life and to everything they do. To better understand what you need from a relationship, think about who you are. Your interests, beliefs, career choice are all indicators of your fundamental personality.

Don’t wait to start moving in the right direction
We tend to miss a lot of opportunities to think about things, to make changes, to make things better. We often continue down the path we are on regardless of whether we find it rewarding or even acceptable. Don’t wait for the moment that shakes you out of your routine to examine what you are doing. Work on making your personal life as fulfilling as you want right now.  

Show your care, even when it’s hard to

In a perfect world there would be little or no conflict in a relationship and it is hard to show you care when you are in the midst of a conflict. In fact, there is no more important time to demonstrate that you care your partner. You can’t be rocked and be loved. You must open up and be vulnerable. Love grows as you make the other person feel special and invest in the other person.  

Make your decisions for positive reasons

Most people tend to have avoiding negative outcomes as their top priority when making decisions instead of making decisions by seeking the positive outcomes of their choices. In relationship, this means that we tend to ask ourselves what’s to be lost if I make this decision instead of what’s to be gained. This pattern can lead to continuing unsatisfying situations because of a fear that things might get worse. Make your decisions based on getting what you want, not on avoiding what you don’t want.

The pieces of your life must fit together

Your two favorite foods might taste delightful separately but terrible in combination. Your career and your relationship, likewise, are two forces that combine to make your life. Seek not two ideals that would never fit together but two compatible situations that will make your life work.

Master your fears

Social interactions, require you to reveal something of yourself. For many people, this process is nerve-racking because we fear that what we say and d won’t be good enough. People overcome these fears in one of two ways: either they come to believe that everything they say and do will be adored, or they let themselves not care about winning everyone else’s approval every moment of the day. Abandon the fear of negative reaction and the need to edit yourself moment by moment because those who react positively to the real you are the people whose company you should seek.

Limit your interests in the past

We all are curious about our partner’s past. We want to know about all their previous relationships, and especially the serious ones. But too much attention to this subject is dangerous. It breeds worry, comparisons, and ultimately conflict.

You are never too old to find love

People give up all the time on relationships because they think they’ve run out of time. The truth is that the need for human companionship does not go away over time. Neither does the capacity to find joy in a relationship fade over time. Never give up, because you are never too old.

We look inward to see how people feel about us

The health if a relationship or the number of close friends—the outward indicators of being liked and loved—are not as important in predicting a feeling of being liked and loved as is self-esteem. The overriding reason people fail to bring forth their personal power is the absence of self-love, a compassionate self-acceptance, psychological warts and ll. Like many of life’s major challenges, the answer is simple: love thyself. 

Connect, see you’re capable, and know you count

If we are going to fit into human society, we must see that we are connected to others—that we are not alone and that our decency is unshakable. We must see that we are capable of accomplishing important goals and making a contribution to the lives of those around us. It’s important to know your boundaries. What you have to keep in yourself, things you must know without question. Just for purpose of survival, and to be real instead of superficial.

Be willing to evolve

When the same conflict keeps coming up in a relationship, both partners will feel frustrated. A relationship therefore requires that both parties be willing to evolve. That does not mean giving up the traits that define you, but it does mean avoiding rigidity in your thinking. If you can put yourself in your partner’s place and learn from that experience, you will evolve in ways that make possible a better relationship.

Reliability counts a lot

Relationship depends on communication; we all know that. And meaningful communication demands reliability. Your words need to mean something. Say what you mean, and do what you say you are going to do. Always.

You are complete by yourself

A relationship is not a requirement. Your health and welfare do not require a relationship. A relationship may be a crucial part of your life and your future, but you by yourself have everything necessary to survive and thrive. Believe in yourself—regardless of your situation right at the moment—and you will be complete. 

Beware second opinions

It’s important to value informed opinions. But no one else can assess what we truly need and value in our personal life. Second, people tend to be far less optimistic about the relationships of others than they are about their own relationship. When it comes to relationship decisions, you’ll have to decide for yourself.

I think we all have to listen to our inner thing. I pray that I don’t make my decision based on ego and don’t listen to others when I should be listening to myself.

Have faith but don’t forget reality

Faith that things will work out should not lead us to think every day will be perfect. Believe in others and in the future, but believe, too, in the work it will take to make that future what you want it to be.

The marriage vow should say: I agree to disagree with you for the rest of my life. You’re the person I’m going to discuss and argue and work things out with forever.

Nice people don’t finish last

It’s a popular notion to think that nice people are overlooked, while other people have all the fun. In truth, the quality of being nice is among the most highly valued in potential partners. Don’t let anybody tell you that there aren’t any nice guys out there.

Relationships are like modern art

While successful relationships have many things in common, much of the time our assessment of the state of a relationship is purely personal. In other words, what you see in relationship, like what you see in a piece of modern art, depends on how you look at it and what you are looking for.

Most people are looking for experienced rookies

We are most comfortable with a partner who has more than a little and less than a lot of previous relationship experience. In studies asking people to rate their interest in dating another person, increasing that person’s past number of sexual partners from zero up to four makes them sound more desirable. Each partner beyond five, however, makes the person sound less desirable.  

It’s for you—or it isn’t

Friends and family might mean well when they ask, ”When are you going to get married?” or “When are you going to have children?” But their questions can come across as pressure to conform to some external standard. Your future, your goals, your relationships are not a means of answering critics. When and whether you do something are for you alone to decide.  

See the horizon, watch your step

Relationships are built on long-term values and short-term actions. You need to see the long-term goals and needs that your relationship will fulfill. This long-term perspective will give your relationship value to you in the moment, which is where you need to demonstrate, on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis, your dedication to a healthy relationship.

The notion of a marriage sabbatical—time away from one’s partner to refresh oneself—has advocates among psychologists. They think it means that a marriage is strong and encourage growth, individualism, renewal, the pursuit of dreams.  

The search for perfection is endless  

There is a difference between looking for something that is healthy and satisfying and looking for something that is perfect. The difference is that healthy and satisfying exist; perfect does not. Your relationship should contribute to your life and to the life of your partner. It should not be expected to provide you with someone who agrees with your every thought and preference or who can fill you every moment with joy.  Day to day, it is all about compromise. It’s about giving in and saying you’re sorry or dumb.

Gentlemen prefer the same things ladies prefer

We have stereotypes about the things men want in a woman and the things women want in a man. These are the kinds of things we sometimes joke about. But at the same time, many of us believe them to be true, and we try to adapt ourselves to fit the model of what we think potential partners are looking for. The truth of the matter is that men and women today are looking for the same things.

From thousands of ads, people reveal themselves in a way that is really unique. They define who they are succinctly, perhaps overly optimistically, and they define the essence of what they are looking for---sometimes suggesting great depth, and oftentimes suggesting a most superficial level of their thinking.  Women are just as likely as men to make requests regarding appearance or background when describing soul mate. In other words, as women gain economic power, women can be just as frivolous as men and look for a cute butt. The age-old, evolutionary contract between men and women, in which men provided security and women comfort, is changing. Men and women are now looking for the same thing.

Love is blind but life isn’t always

Expectations about who you are allowed to marry are slowly vanishing. For example, society has evolved past the point of expecting people to marry only others of the same race or ethnicity. Yet even while there is no reason for you to exclude groups of people as potential partners, you must recognize the challenges you will face and embrace them. Some people are still likely to see any departure from their expectations and traditions as a threat to themselves. Cross-cultural relationships can be burdened with the strain of dealing with the world or fortified by a mutual response to closemindedness.

Balance depends on which way you learn

We all know that we should strive to balance our lives. For those who work long hours and focus much of their attention on their career, greater commitment to their relationship and family time must become a priority. But for those whose focus is the family, greater time working outside the home actually increases the health of relationships and family life.

Studies find that the balance between work life and personal life is consistently different for men and women. Most women express more satisfaction with their family as they work more hours outside of the home. Most men express less satisfaction with their family life as they work more hours outside of the home.

The future matters more than the past

The task of a successful relationship never ends because the point of a relationship is to build toward the future, not the past.

You don’t have to see eye to eye on everything

In reality, relationship success does not depend on seeing things the same way. Instead, respect for the other person’s perspective is far more important than constant agreement with it.

Who is exactly like you? Who agrees with absolutely everything you think? You. Just you. That’s it. But you are not married to yourself; you are married to another person. And for every idea of yours that you want appreciated, respected, or at least tolerated, there are ideas of your spouse you will have to put up with.

Be open with each other

Many people in strong and vital relationships are suffering through some kind of difficulty in life, while people who seem to have everything one could ever want are in crumbling relationships. The difference is not the circumstances; the difference is how the partners connect with each other. A good husband needs to share everything, to include your spouse in your day, your life, your thoughts.

Accentuate the positive in all respects of your life

Logically, our feelings toward our relationships, our job, our family, and our friends should be independent of one another. Logic does not always rule our feelings, though, in truth, we tend to allow our feelings about one major aspect of our lives to affect our feelings about other, unrelated, aspects of our lives. Avoiding the negative and emphasizing the positive aspects of your life will encourage you to see positives in your relationship.

Ambivalence is a negative

When we are not sure, we often out off making a decision. After all, we are worried we’ll make the wrong one. This happens in all phases of life, including our relationships. The difference is that ambivalence about which shoes to buy doesn’t affect the health of shoes. Ambivalence about a relationship, in contrast, eats away at the relationship because it represents the absence of definite positive feelings—an absence both partners will be aware of. And that absence of a positive is a negative.

A relationship starts with yourself

People need loving human relationships. We all benefit from close social contact. But many of us think relationships will complete us—fill in any holes in our lives. In reality, if you are not happy with who you are, a relationship will not change that, and in fact it will be difficult to maintain healthy relationships.

I used to see it as a chicken-and-egg problem. Which comes first, a healthy self-image or healthy relationship? It seems like you need a healthy self-image to have healthy relationships, and you need healthy relationships to have a healthy self-image. Then I realized that I had less control over my relationsips—people up and move on you, or they enter new phases of their lives without you—so I had to start with myself. If you don’t think you are a good person, worthy of your own affection, it is hard for other people to disagree with you. On the other hand, when I really looked for the value in myself, it was easier for me to see it in other people.

Let go of the burden of pain

You’ve been hurt and then apologized to. It is painful, but you decide it is within your heart to forgive. Yet the pain doesn’t just go away. You carry with you the trauma of what happened, and you think of it even when there is no reason to. You have to let go of the pain. Carrying it around makes it seem like the hurt is fresh every day. Only you can put it away.

Even in a relationship, you are still an individual

Strong, healthy relationships are built on notions of equality. The strongest relationships support both partner’s dreams, even if they differ, not one partner’s at the expense of the other’s.

Like the way you look

If you are not comfortable with your image of your body, you will not be comfortable with anyone else’s image of your body. And if that happened, it will erode your self-confidence and make it much more difficult to find or maintain a relationship.

Don’t romanticize the past

We tend to have positive notion of the past. Times were simpler, life was easier, families were stronger. Admittedly, definitions of family life have changed tremendously in the past fifty years and divorce rates are higher now. But the traditions of the past included marriages based on almost no existing connection between the partners and, in the case of a loveless union, the expectation of lifelong suffering because there were no available alternatives. While we face challenges in finding and keeping relationships today, we should also see the opportunities and the freedom available to us that did not exist in the past. Studies comparing relationships today to relationships fifty or more years ago find that levels of commitment are largely unchanged, but the biggest difference is that freedom of choice to enter, maintain, or leave relationships was less prevalent then.  

Share the praise and share in the blame

Whether we mean to or not, we tend to give ourselves credit for things that go well, and we tend to blame others when things go awry. Understand that you are likely to see things this way and your partner is as well. If we can learn instead to graciously accept some of the blame and generously share the credit, we will be contributing to a happier relationship.

You can’t find without looking

The vast majority of relationships start after meeting in school, at a workplace, in a common neighborhood, or through family or mutual acquaintances. While you may find the partner of your dreams in these places, typical sources are also tremendously limiting. If you are looking for someone, think carefully about where you look and how you can expand your interactions with new people.

Among those who have used a personals service, 73 percent thought the effort was worthwhile. Users said the best feature of the service was that it exposed them to people they would never have met otherwise.

Meaningful commitment is mutual commitment

Your efforts alone, no matter how great, cannot make a relationship healthy or satisfying. A relationship not only requires effort from two people but requires mutual effort from two people. Increasing your commitment to your relationship will not help unless you do so with your partner. On a rowing team, everybody has to try hard, but no one can try harder than anyone else or the boat will go in circles. The same is true in a relationship.

Friendships predict relationships

While they are obviously not as intense, close friendships require the same foundation of communication skills and selflessness necessary for a successful relationship. The requirements of being supportive and willing to adapt over time are necessary for both. Take the confidence you have in your friendships, and understand that if you can maintain a friendship you can maintain a relationship.